My Father Died

If my ship sails from sight, it doesn't mean my journey ends,

 it simply means the river bends.

                                                 J. Enoch Powell

Shortly before dawn last Monday, my father passed away.  He suffered from blindness, dementia and lung cancer so the last few years were a time of loss and grieving.  Now there is release and relief and joy on the other side of the veil as he walked through the gate into the arms of loved ones gone before.  I spent the week pouring over photos and compiling them into a slideshow as a memorial celebration of a full and well-lived life.  It has been a healing activity.  I did not want the debilitation of his final years to be the last memories for me or my children and grandchildren.  The precious photos cement in my mind a picture of a strong man who faced the world boldly and secured for his family a lasting legacy.  He left us a view of the world that enables us to work hard, take care of ourselves and generously help others; a love for creatures great and small and a passion for the mountains, trees and seashores that brought him peace and joy.  

Totally Unaware . . .

Totally unaware of the great joy it brings, a new life begins.  

Of all the joys that lighten suffering earth, what joy is welcomed like a newborn child? 

Dorothy L. Nolte

I am blessed with a nice collection of grandchildren but there has been a dry spell without a newborn for several years so it is with great anticipation, relief and joy that we were blessed by the safe arrival of a new healthy, precious grand daughter this week.  It was not without difficulty and long anxious days that her mother, our daughter, brought her into the world so it is with overwhelming gratitude and joy that we receive her.  There is so much of evil, ugly and profane in our time that this little bit of Heavenly light is a welcome bringer of hope and rejoicing.

Glen Yarborough was a popular folk singer when I was in college and one song he sang that has always stayed with me was, “One More Round.”   I have not been able to locate all the lyrics but it talked of God’s answer to dark times was to send a newborn baby, and the chorus asked:

 “One more round, mankind, will you make it? 

One more chance, mankind, will you take it?

Take it the way a child takes love.”

The knowledge that God can and does at times send angels to intervene for the benefit of mankind but he often sends Hope and Help in the form of a newborn baby with an appointed mission to turn the tide of history and lead the human heart to Him.  I don’t know the destiny or mission of our newest grand daughter but as all who come so soon, “trailing clouds of glory from God who is our home,” the miracle of her birth has already lightened our burdens and enriched our lives.  Thank you, Heavenly Father, for her safe arrival.

Don't Make Life Harder than it Needs to Be

The pessimist complains about the wind; 

the optimist expects it to change; 

the realist adjusts the sails.        

William Arthur Ward

Life is hard; and then you die.  I think it was from my father that I first heard that sentiment but my mother disputes some of my childhood memories and time has warped the misty past.  In any case, that statement of simple truth has stuck with me.  Life IS hard.  Hard is not bad-- God Himself  explained to Adam that He “cursed is the ground ‘for thy sake’  (Genesis 3:17), in other words, for our benefit.   A wise and LOVING Heavenly Father knows our growth comes only as we struggle to survive.  Muscles strengthen when strained to lift heavy weights.  So does our character.

That being said, it seems foolish to make things harder than necessary.  Yesterday in discussing a schedule conflict, someone vented their frustration at a third party who wasn’t accepting their responsibility to be to a meeting.   Time and emotional energy had been wasted trying to convince the other person to cooperate.   Rarely can we make people do what they ought to do and it is probably wise to do what WE can and leave them to the consequences that will come.   I recognize that we are all tied to others, especially those closest to us and their actions or inactions impact our lives but it is most difficult to drive the herd and we can’t force the outcome.  

Life is hard; but it is unnecessarily harder to take on tasks that rightfully are not ours.  Perhaps the best we can do is to do our own part and leave the rest alone.   Begging, nagging, and stewing over what is not in our control rarely brings the desired result and NEVER brings personal peace.   That’s what I am trying to remember as I continue my mortal journey.

Man Must Search for What is Right

Man must search for what is right, and let happiness come on its own.

  Johann Pestalozzi

Whether a person thinks humankind is an evolved accident or, as I do, that we are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and have a part in a divine plan, it is self-evident that we have the capacity to reason and choose.  It is my belief that as a child of God, my mortal life is a gift that I may use for good, or not.  Early in life, I became aware of that divine spark within that impelled me to reach for that which is good, uplifting, right.  As child, I wanted to be good and to do the right thing;  which is not to say I always was and did.   I did want to do the right thing (and still do) but, as Heavenly Father knows, discerning between right and wrong, between truth and error, even between good, better and best, requires time and experience.  Hence, mortality.  The perfect laboratory for learning by example, observation, experience and most importantly, by faith. 

Faith is trusting a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and knows what is right amidst the plethora of opinions and options. It is in my best interest to invest the time to learn of Him and his ways; to study the principles by which He lives and as much as possible practice living by those principles.   Knowing that learning by experience includes many falls and wrong turns, He lovingly provided a Savior, Christ Jesus, who willingly took upon Himself the ultimate consequences and suffering our sins and follies.  It is in my best interest to use my right and capacity to choose to accept that gift of mercy . It is in my best interest to make quiet time and still the voices of stress and discouragement, that I may more clearly hear the “still small voice” by which he guides me through the subtle grays where neither choice is wrong but one is needful. (Luke 10:42)   

Throughout this laboratory of life, Heavenly Father knows not the ultimate goal but the pathway that leads to all that I can and was meant to become.  He knows me and what experiences I need to lead me towards Him.  He knows that what is right is the same as what will lead not merely to mortal happiness but ultimately to everlasting joy.  (Isaiah 51:11)  I choose to trust Him and learn of Him and His ways.

Family Links

The photo is taken inside St. Alfege, the ancient Anglican church in Greenwich, Kent, England where my great-great-great-great grandparents christened and buried some of their children.  They are also buried in the peaceful yard behind the church.

Last fall my husband and I went together to see the movie, Up.  It was a story about a couple and their dreams and adventures.  On the way home, my husband asked me what I still dreamed to do.  My dream has been to go to England to see where my ancestors had lived.  Researching my family lines and trying to flesh them out has been a lifelong avocation of mine.  Fifteen year ago a daughter and I flew back to New York on a family history quest and had wonderful experiences walking where our forefathers had walked and unraveling their stories.  My hope to follow the trail to England has been strong ever since. 

My husband never mentioned it again but my Christmas gift was a trip he had arranged with my daughter for her to be my tour guide on a trip to Great Britain!  We researched the areas our ancestors came from and discovered that the tiny hamlets they emigrated from were not accessible by train or bus.  We did not want to risk renting and driving a car in a foreign country so we focused on a line that had lived in the greater London area.   My daughter had lived in London while in a study abroad program 17 years before as a college student majoring in humanities.   She suggested we take an organized bus tour of Great Britain and Ireland to get a feel for the history and culture of the area.  We studied the tours online and signed up for one titled Essential Great Britain.  It was a whirlwind sampling of England, Wales, Ireland and Scotland.  Our remarkable tour guide explained the history and points of interest as we travelled by coach and ferry, led us on bus and walking tours of different cities and gave us time to explore on our own.  He possessed a staggering amount of knowledge and I found the experience exhilarating and at the same time overwhelming. 

We scheduled a few extra days before and after the trip to explore London on our own.  I have a hodge podge of feelings, impressions and memories and a clearer idea of what life may have been like for mine ancestors.  Whenever we could find an internet café or hotel computer, we emailed home to share our adventure with our families.  Over and over again I wanted to thank my husband for his thoughtful gift, and even though it was the trip of a lifetime, towards the end, we both yearned for home and family.  A volcano had erupted in Iceland while we were there and the ash cloud had drifted over Europe causing airlines to shut down.  Luckily, they opened again two days before we were scheduled to fly home and we felt extremely blessed and happy to get safely home on schedule.   I love being married to a great man who loves me enough to do all in his power to make my dreams a reality.   I LOVED travelling around Great Britain and seeing and learning so much.  I also LOVED returning to my husband, family and country.  As Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz discovered, there’s “no place like home.”

All That is Good Springs from Love

God does not love us because we are lovable, have a pleasing personality or a good sense of humor, or at rare times show exceptional kindness.  In spite of who we are and what we have done, God wants to pour out His love on us, for the unlovable are also precious unto Him.         David B. Haight

It’s Valentine’s Day so LOVE is in the air; and although most celebrate it as a day for romantic love, it is my experience that the most enduring love between a man and a woman is that which grows out of the Godly love we receive from our Father.  We “learn” to love as we are the recipients of love. One cannot search the scriptures and ponder the gifts from the heart of God without coming to understand that all good is motivated by and carried to fruition by pure, genuine, unselfish love.   Being so loved in my imperfection, it behooves me to remember to see my good husband as the Savior sees him; to allow that perfect love to flow through me that I may love better and be a blessing in his life.

From Every Angle

From Every Angle: It takes all types to make the best teams work.   This headline on the cover of (my husband’s) Mechanical Engineering magazine caught my attention.   The article detailed the evolution  of successful design teams at Stanford University, summarizing that:

“Each team member is chosen to bring a specific range of skills and experience to bear on the mission, and each contributor is essential to a successful outcome.  But it is not only different types of expertise that people bring to the task.  They also have distinct personalities, and different ways of approaching and solving problems.  The proper application of those traits can be as important as combined technical knowledge to a team’s success . . . all of these personality traits are indeed very relevant to a team’s success.”

We all are part of various teams as we journey through life.  One of the most important teams is family and the core of that team, marriage.   Husband and wife are not carbon copies of each other physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.  It rings true to me that the differences both cement and strengthen a marriage IF the partners see marriage as a team working towards a common goal AND, according to the article “Before diverse team members can be integrated into a cooperative unite they must . . . recognize the value of exploring a problem from various angles.”  In other words, each partner must value the contribution of the other. 

I have heard a plethora of marriage advice over the years.  One common bit of counsel is to focus on making the other person happy, subjugating your own needs and desires to those of your spouse.  While there is a point to be made for that approach, I submit that it is inferior to the “team method.”  In fact, I suggest that approach undermines the team mentality, shifting ones intent to doing things FOR the spouse instead of WITH the spouse.  Working TOGETHER rather than FOR creates EQUALS UNITED in a cause.  In my mind, it fundamentally changes the relationship.  Early in our marriage, my husband and I worked together to build a home from the foundation up and then landscape our backyard to fit the needs of our young family; and finally, to build and upholster furniture.  He was heavily involved in church work at the time and gone much of the time but working together and with the children while he was home bonded us and contributed to our individual happiness.  I was the weaker of the team as far as building skills and physical strength but it took two to hold and nail sheetrock.  He needed my help and being needed is essential to joy in marriage.

Nothing requires more teamwork than rearing children in the admonition of the Lord.  I assert that a marriage conceived as a team wherein each partner recognizes, values and allows the other to contribute according to individual differences not only will be more successful but each individual will be happier.  Problem-solving power will be magnified beyond the sum of two; more goals will be achieved; and the satisfaction of knowing my spouse NEEDS and VALUES what I bring to the team bonds me to him.  It behooves me then to be more careful to be open to his opposing ideas and approaches and allow him the freedom to contribute freely just as I would have him do unto me.

I‘ve quoted Antoine de Saint Exupéry before: "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward in the same direction."   In other words, a team working TOGETHER towards a shared purpose bonds the companions together in love.

Fairy godmother Prayers

There is a connection between heaven and earth. Finding that connection gives meaning to everything, including death. Missing it makes everything meaningless, including life.       

                                             John H. Groberg

Fairy godmother prayers miss the mark.  Following up on the article I last posted by Truman Madson, I want to comment a little on the evolution of my own prayers over a lifetime.  Childhood prayers were much like requests and wishes-  envisioning God as a kind of fairy godmother who waves a magic wand and grants wishes.  At the other end of the spectrum, I envision that the most perfect and powerful prayers would be like those the Savior uttered in Gethsemane- “Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.” (Mark 14:36) 

It strikes me as I read the accounts of the prophets that the earnest prayers of their hearts are likewise to strengthen them to do whatsoever the Lord has given them to do.  Prayers invite the power of the Lord into our lives that we weak things of the earth may be come instruments in the hands of God as he blesses, refines and lifts His children.  Prayers invoking the Lord’s blessings for others and prayers for guidance in carrying forth the Lord’s work are often answered most powerfully.

I do know in my own experience that my recognition of the answers to my prayers increases as I refrain from looking for a fairy godmother and instead humbly seek to shape my will to His; trusting he knows my needs and the needs of those I love.  I pray more often, “Lord what would you have me do today?   Whom would you have me help?  Please direct my thoughts, words and actions.” Personally, my prayers have not reached perfection but I believe a loving Father listens to each of his children however they express themselves and is patient while I learn.  Pain and suffering are necessary for our growth and their presence in our lives is NOT an indication of unheard or unanswered prayers.  Infinitely wiser than a fairy godmother, I trust he carefully leads us even when we are not aware.

“. . . he also gave them strength, that they should suffer no manner of afflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ. Now this was according to the prayer of Alma; and this because he prayed in faith.”   Alma 31: 38

Yearning Prayer

I committed parts of an article to memory when I was about 15 or 16 and those words came to mind today as I was pondering.  It was written by Truman Madsen, a former professor  at Brigham Young University, my alma mater.  He was a great speaker and writer.  This essay he wrote on prayer has been a powerful guide in my life and I hope it will be so for others who may find and read it here also.

YEARNING PRAYER

by 

Truman G. Madsen

 (http://trumanmadsen.com/bio.php)

            They say it on one way or another, those who really know about prayer:  Only yearning prayer gets through.    But there are three kinds of yearning.

            We yearn when we mean what we say.  But is that enough when we are asking the impossible, or when what we are asking is, if we could only see, for our ill?

            We yearn when we care terribly.  But is that enough when what we care for, however desperately, is a fist-shaking fixation that presumes God envisions less what is needed than we?

            We yearn, finally, when we do not only mean and care intensely, but when at the core we are as anxious to listen as to ask.  We yearn when we will to abide counsels already given, and to respond to him and his way in his way.

            So long as we are set in our uninspired desires, not moldable, we must break our hearts before we can pray from them.  So need we wonder why the heavens are often "like brass over our heads?"

            This is the beginning of communion with the highest of personalities, God and his Son Jesus Christ; of higher ways of seeing and feeling, as it were, through their eyes.

            This is a life-process, not a five-minute thing.  But it is often closer in youth than in maturity.  Youth may keenly grasp the truth:  that even at our best we are like the blind boy who walks with his friend.  He does not believe, nor bluff, that he is self-sufficient.  Instead he responds to the slightest nudge.  (If you would know the power of God try, early in life, to become just this dependable in your dependence.)

            As this happen, the whole of us becomes the instrument that vibrates upwardly.  No special words are need, no force tone of voice, and no dramatic play-acting.

            Then we begin to recognize the "first answers" to our prayers-the answers that always come before the others.

            What are these?

            They are subtle flashes that register within.  And they are real.  They center "in your mind and in you heart" (D&C8:2) (Ezekial 40:4) and are, therefore, a perfect blend of thought and feeling   They come with a serene flow of power that is light, and warmth, and liquid surety.  They whisper a "Yes," or a "No," a "Wait," or a "Be still," a "Trust," or an "Act well thy part."

            This is what a modern young prophet calls "breaking the ice" and "obtaining the Holy Spirit" which causes  "the bosom to burn."  He says that much emptying ourselves of unworthiness and much filling ourselves with concentration precedes it.  He says we should strive to stay on our knees until it happens.

            And how do you know that this "burning" is of God?  Maybe it is just hope, guess, or wish.

            You know by the quiet verdict of your own inner being.  (And you know just as well when you don't know.)  You know because the haunting "I doubt" and the painful "I fear" are swallowed up in living light.  You arise this time, after many darkened times, tinctured with gratitude.  With the glow comes a lingering love, a knowledge that forges resolve to do what must now be done, and a faith for next time.

            Thus yearning prayer becomes burning prayer, burning-with-the-Spirit prayer.

            Happy is he who prays for and then until and finally with this subtle flame.  For "he that asketh in Spirit shall receive in Spirit."  (D&C 46:28)

Not the Life We Envisioned

My heart and mind are focused on those nearest to me, who struggle as we all do, with the problems and obstacles they encounter as they sacrifice and wear themselves out to do the RIGHT thing.  There seems to be a common thread among the cries I hear from my adult children: “I am trying SO HARD to do what I think the Lord wants me to do yet despite all my sacrifice and effort, I am not getting the result I want (and feel I have earned.)  I am working so much harder to do the right thing than people I compare my life to and THEY have it easier and/or better.  I can’t see any way things will work out in the end.  I’m exhausted; I have nothing to look forward to; I feel alone, abandoned;  I have no basis for hope.”  Myself, having lived longer, have experienced the same emotions.  I found the emotions contrary to peace and progress.  

My response to my children has always been to try to encourage by sharing with them principles I have learned in my personal suffering.  My intent is to give them hope and coping skills.  I am still learning that I it is my personal perspective and personal faith (trust) in a loving Heavenly Father that will give me the hope, strength and direction to move forward and eventually triumph over all because of the gift of the Atonement of our self-less Savior, Christ Jesus.  (John 16:33:  “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”) 

I repeat, my intent is always to point out that we may not see the way out of our misery but Heavenly Father does.  He sees and understands the whole picture; and since his only motivation is love, we can trust him implicitly to bless us according to our needs.  My personal experience has demonstrated that the Lord always opens a door when I have done what I can and can see no way out.  My personal experience leads me to understand that there are no coincidences in life.  The Lord is in control and even when I try to grab the steering wheel and am left for a time to “kick against the pricks” as was Saul (Acts 9:5),  He has reached after me.

This is my intent as I respond to my children-  not to wallow in despair with them- but to help them see the light ahead.  It was in this state of mind that I wrote the following words to one of my children (while thinking them appropriate for several of them whom had cried out in anguish this week.) 

Heavenly Father sent us here to be tested and I don't think we understood how difficult it would be when we all shouted for joy.  (Job 38:7)  What I think we did understand was the purpose of the suffering that was ahead of us.  We knew what Eternal Life meant and were willing to endure the refining fire to develop our divine nature.  Justice was NOT EVER promised in this life because there would be no test AND NO GROWTH if it were.  It has to be the vision of what awaits us upon returning home that keeps us going.

It helps me to repeat to myself (and I have done this for years) the promise given to Joseph who was sold into Egypt, ended up in prison for 2 years for refusing to sin, etc.   The scripture says that "the LORD was with him, and that which he did, the LORD made it to prosper," and to Joseph Smith, "if the very jaws of  hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good."  That is what I meant about having the faith to trust in the Lord.  He can turn whatever tangled mess we are in to benefit us.  Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know us, know what we need and how to guide us to Eternal Life.  Through the Savior, the demands of justice will be met and MERCY will swallow up all the pain of this life.  We can trust them.  Their only motivation is pure, unselfish love for us.  When I could not sleep for agony over my children and I was angry at Dad because he could sleep, he told me he slept because he had done all he could and he placed each of you in the Lord's hands and he trusts God.

We are individually known by Heavenly Father.  William Barclay testified: "When we believe that God is Father, we also believe that such a father’s hand will never cause his child a needless tear.  We may not understand life any better, but we will not resent life any longer."  He went on to say: “We will often find compensation if we think more of what life has given us and less about what life has taken away.”

I feel what I tried to share is true and will bring peace and hope.  However, my children are not comforted by anything I say.  Perhaps, like Saul of the New Testament and Alma of the Book of Mormon, we all need to learn by our own experience.  Perhaps, they want me to listen only.  I try to listen but I cannot keep my mouth shut when I hear their thought processes spiraling downward in despair.  Only worldly wisdom sees no glorious end to the darkness.  There is no worldly view that spawns hope.  This life must only be seen in context of eternity. 

My atheist father always said, “Life is Hard and then you die.”  I believe that is absolutely true.  What my father did NOT know is that Life is Hard to reveal the divine nature within us and prepare us for Eternal Life.  Glorious consequences flow from our suffering and refining in this tiny speck of mortality; “And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.” (D&C 121: 8)

I know I cannot reinforce self-pity, the victim or martyr mentality but how do I inspire the will to move forward with all the creative problem-solving skills they have and trust God for the rest? 

"I'd Have Shot You Before We Left Maine"

Small Waterfall along the Trail

There is a trail that follows a creek through a narrow canyon in the mountains northeast of my house.  It is one of many creeks and narrow, rugged canyons.  When my children were young, we took them and a couple neighbor kids to explore the trail.  I carried our youngest, a toddler, in a back pack.  The entrance to the narrow canyon trail is reached by climbing a very steep, sandy hill.  The strenuous climb in the sun gave way to a steady incline through deep shade.  The trail became more rugged as we ascended and when we came to a spot where the creek rushed through a narrow gap in the rocks forcing the trail up a 10 foot vertical climb hanging onto roots and branches, I decided it was too much for the younger children and we turned back.  My husband returned with the older children and later he and I hiked the trail together. 

My husband is one who walks steadily towards whatever goal is before him and, with my shorter legs, I fell behind him.  At one point a massive boulder blocks the narrow ravine and the trail disappears into the creek so one must slosh around the boulder before picking up the trail on its back side.  I had made it around the monolith and was crawling up onto the bank when I dislodged a bowling-ball-size rock causing me to fall back so that I found myself sitting in the creek with the bowling ball in my lap.  Once I finally rolled out of the creek and up to the trail, I could no longer see my husband at all so I began running up the trail trying to catch up.  I grew up hiking with my family and KNOW to ALWAYS watch where you are putting your feet and hands- but my hurry to catch up overcame what I KNEW and I was running carelessly until I the warning rattle- I couldn’t see where it was and I knew I should freeze then back away quietly instead of what I did.  My husband heard my screams echoing through the canyon and came running back expecting to see me being dismantled by a bear.  “SNAKE!!!!!!!”  I yelled as he ran into view.  Finally, I had spotted the terrified reptile gliding up the hill desperately trying to get way from the screaming maniac.

My husband slowed his pace, checking to make sure I was keeping up, as we continued upward.  We passed a pretty little waterfall along the way and finally although bruised, wet, muddy and drained from the adrenaline, we came around a bend and stood at the base of a waterfall plummeting over the sheer walls of the box canyon. The sight and sounds of the waterfall were glorious and for a few minutes the strenuous hike and even the snake were forgotten. 

Today in church, a woman shared her journey from her home in Maine across the country to her new home.  She admitted that she complained mightily even in the relative comfort she enjoyed in a rented, air-conditioned truck compared to the wagon and handcart companies of the Mormon (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) Pioneers.  She said her husband commented that if he had had to make the journey with a handcart, he would have shot her before they got out of Maine.  We all laughed.  But it struck a cord with me.  She then explained that it was because her cross-country experience and her contemplation of the handcart pioneers that her favorite hymn was, Come, Come Ye Saints.   The hymn was written by William Clayton to buoy up the spirits of the weary pioneers who had been persecuted and driven from their homes because of their religious beliefs.  The text is as follows:

1. Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear;

But with joy wend your way.

Though hard to you this journey may appear,

Grace shall be as your day.

’Tis better far for us to strive

Our useless cares from us to drive;

Do this, and joy your hearts will swell—

All is well! All is well!

2. Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?

’Tis not so; all is right.

Why should we think to earn a great reward

If we now shun the fight?

Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.

Our God will never us forsake;

And soon we’ll have this tale to tell—

All is well! All is well!

3. We’ll find the place which God for us prepared,

Far away in the West,

Where none shall come to hurt or make afraid;

There the Saints will be blessed.

We’ll make the air with music ring,

Shout praises to our God and King;

Above the rest these words we’ll tell—

All is well! All is well!

4. And should we die before our journey’s through,

Happy day! All is well!

We then are free from toil and sorrow, too;

With the just we shall dwell!

But if our lives are spared again

To see the Saints their rest obtain,

Oh, how we’ll make this chorus swell—

All is well! All is well!

Text: William Clayton, 1814–1879

The phrase “with joy wend your way” stood out to me as I contemplated the text today.  The pathway back to our Heavenly Father is a strenuous climb over sharp rocks and massive boulders. There are thorns, mosquitoes, bears and snakes along the route.  Still, when we choose to “with joy wend our way” and  “to strive our useless cares from us to drive,” I think not only will we find, through grace, strength for the journey but also our spouses will not have the impulse to “shoot us before we even get out of Maine.”  It occurred to me that I can either be the wind beneath my husband’s wings or a millstone tied around his neck.  Life is supposed to be a test and a refiner’s fire to reveal our true nature and make us fit for the Kingdom.  When we focus on where we are going and WHY and seek to “bear each other up,” there is joy in the journey and hope as we consider the glories of eternity.  There is so much more that a magnificent waterfall this trail’s end.