How Gizmo Came to Be Part of our Family

Age thirteen/fourteen is a difficult time of life for many girls with its painfully complex social milieu. At this age, my youngest daughter found herself in a dark place feeling broken, isolated and unsure not only that she would survive but thinking maybe she didn’t want to go on.   Like all parents, I prayed mightily that the Lord would guide my children and guide me.  One sleepless night I was pleading with the Lord to help me know what to do to help her.  A couple hours before dawn, the thought came into my head, “Get her a puppy.”

 “But I don’t want a dog,” I thought.

 “Then don’t ask,” Heavenly Father replied.

The idea ran through my head as I waited for my husband to wake up.  A dog is a devoted creature, always glad to see you.  A dog needs care, time to play and explore and run which requires his owner to give of their time and efforts.  Giving service, even to an animal, pulls us away for our own pain.  We come to love that which we sacrifice for and that which we love gives us a reason to get up in the morning and face the day.  The Lord knew my daughter and he knew she needed a dog.  As soon as my husband awoke, I told him I thought we should get a dog.

 “I don’t want a dog,” responded my husband, reminding me that we had decided not to replace the dog that had passed away a year or so ago.  I explained to him my experience with prayer and he said, “Then you better act on it.”

I asked my daughter that morning what she thought about getting a puppy and she was non-committal.  I found out that Petsmart was holding its once-a-month pet adoptions that Saturday morning.  We walked into Petsmart and a golden ball of fur with a purple collar caught her eye.  She picked him up and he immediately snuggled into her shoulder.  It was the dog that had been born to be her companion.  Purple was her favorite color- it must be a sign!  I made her meet all the other dogs before making a choice but it was love at first sight. 

We did other things to invite the spirit of the Lord into our minds and hearts and all those things worked together for her good but our Heavenly Father knew that she needed to love and be loved by a dog at that time in her life. 

Gizmo, the obsessive fetching golden retriever/yellow lab puppy made ‘his girl’ laugh with his antics; drew her out of herself to care for him; greeted her jubilantly every time she came home; and sat stoically when she wrapped her arms around his neck to cry.   Gizmo’s girl grew stronger and wiser and happier and eventually went off to college.  As she was packing the car to leave, she came out with the last bag to find Gizmo in the back of the car wedged between the suitcases and boxes.  He sensed she was leaving and wanted to make sure she didn’t leave him behind.  They had their last cry together and he waited on her bed every night for weeks for her to come home. 

He is ten years old now.  He’s adjusted to her comings and goings and has happily accepted her husband who always throws the ball for him when they come to visit.  He still runs to the window and peers out with ears perked up and tail wagging when we inform him, “Your girl’s coming!”

End of the World

Richard Bach’s well known quote, “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly,” is only part of what he said.  To quote him more fully, “The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly.”  Richard Bach is a pilot and contemporary American author (Jonathan Livingston Seagull is one of his books) born in 1936. 

 Probably the phrase I heard most often as a mother was, “That’s not FAIR!” or some variation of that belief and I never made any headway in convincing my offspring that

IF life WAS fair, they would be much worse off then they are.

 “If life was fair,” I would preach, “Christ would not have suffered beyond comprehension because he had done NOTHING  wrong at all, EVER.”

That was meant to take the wind out of the their self-centered, self-righteous perspective. What they were demanding is JUSTICE which means we will get both what we have earned AND what we deserve.  What children (and most adults) want is justice for others but MERCY for ourselves.  We want the world to be the way we want it.  We think we deserve better than we have.  We want others to suffer for what they do to hurt us or those we love BUT when we hurt or err, we want forgiveness or exceptions to the golden rule because—because we want it to be the way we want it to be.  And we certainly don’t feel the way it should be should include pain, suffering, loss, struggle.   As the loving and WISE Father that he is, our Father in Heaven has a much greater and more compassionate plan for us than justice.   MERCY is the gift of the atonement wrought by his son which allows us to learn and grow from our experiences and ultimately overcome our personal shameful attitudes, actions and weaknesses.  Heavenly Father knows us, loves and is willing to give us the experiences we need to inherit a fullness of joy.   His plan is NOT fair.  We sin.  Christ suffers.  What's FAIR about that?  It's not FAIR.  What it is, is MERCY.  We ought to be on our knees in gratitude for that Mercy rather than indignantly demanding justice.   

Perhaps that’s what Richard Bach understood when he wrote that “the mark of ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy.”  The only REAL tragedy is those who fail to trust Heavenly Father and insist on going their own way even if it means driving their life off a cliff. 

 There are events in every life that will hit hard and send us reeling and we will sometimes dissolve in tears feeling like our world is ending.  But if we understand the life cycle of the butterfly, we trust our father and know, “that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace.  In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer;  I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33

Love Does Not Consist of Gazing at Each Other

“Life has taught us that loves does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”  Antoine de Saint Exupéry (1900-1944) 

 

 “Valentine’s Day is Saturday,” my father remarked to my mother, “if you’ll give me the money, I’ll take you to Ricardos for lunch.”  Ricardos is their favorite restaurant  in Chico, California, where they have gone for the last 30 years whenever they want to make a celebration ‘special.’

 

“We’re not near Ricardos,” my mother explained, “we’re in Utah but we could go to Garcias.”  My father has dementia.  He and my mother moved into my Utah home a little more than two months ago.

 

He worried about how they would get there and Mom told him that I would probably drive them.  My father is blind from macular degeneration.  My mother has been driving them around for years but their car is back home in California and she can’t drive in the snow.

 

My mother has been searching the sale flyers and found that Albertson’s had the best buy on Valentine’s candy.  “I’d like to get a box of candy for Dad,” she announced, “he likes candy and It would be just for him-- he would enjoy that, and it’s a dollar off with the coupon.”  My mother came of age during the depression and has never wasted a penny since.

 

   My Dad can’t see her anymore and my Mom says sometimes she’s glad he can’t see her aging.  Sometimes my Dad can’t remember who she is and once that made her cry and he sat there and stroked her hair.   His sight is gone and is mind is failing but somewhere from deep inside his love for her surfaces and he wants to take her out for Valentine’s Day.  My parents have been married for more than 63 years.  It will be their last Valentine’s Day together.  My Dad is succumbing to lung cancer.

 

Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote:

“I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death."  

(Sonnet 43)

 Love and marriage and families are not meant only for the short span of mortality.  Thanks be to God, our Father, they transcend the grave.

As a man thinketh

James Allen: “Good Thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit and man is his own gardener.”  According to Wikipedia: “James Allen  1864--1912 was a philosophical writer of British nationality known for his inspirational books and poetry.  Allen was 15 when his father, a businessman, was robbed and murdered. He left school to work full-time in several British manufacturing firms to help support the family. He later married Lily L. Allen and became an executive secretary for a large company. At age 38, inspired by the writings of Leo Tolstoy, he retired from employment. Allen — along with his wife and their daughter, Nohra — moved to a small cottage in Ilfracombe, Devon, England to pursue a simple life of contemplation. There he wrote for nine years, producing 19 works. He also edited and published a magazine, "The Light of Reason".  Allen's books illustrate the use of the power of thought to increase personal capabilities. Allen's most famous book, As a Man Thinketh, was published in 1902. It is now considered a classic self-help book. Its underlying premise is that noble thoughts make a noble person, while lowly thoughts make a miserable person.” 

I have often questioned why different people living the same experience can react often vastly differently.  We can’t control everything but we can control how we think which will shape our actions and reactions.  I am emotionally/spiritually affected by my thoughts and am noticeably happier, calmer and captivated by uplifting, noble concepts and principles.  I enjoy pondering how to incorporate noble, selfless concepts into my life so that they become part of my character.  HOWEVER, my thoughts are generally a swirling disconnected jumble of impressions, questions, interpretations and habitual loops.  When I find my thoughts in a downward spiral, I have experimented with ways to stop, reboot and shape what is going through my mind.   What I have found that works best for me is increasing the sensory input of those things that quiet the inner turmoil and INVITE the spirit of the Lord.   If I can’t flee to the nearby mountains or even the city park, I take some times to look out the window and survey the trees, watch the birds or the clouds.   I put on my favorite CD of inspirational music, Thanksgiving Hymns, performed by the combined BYU choirs and orchestra with many arranged by Mack Wilberg.  My favorite is his arrangement of Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing.  I take a few minutes to immerse myself in the scriptures and uplifting magazine articles by people of faith.  If I can get away, I go to the temple and soak up the peace that is there.  Bringing these things into my mind increases my sensitivity to the spirit of the Lord and as I dialogue with him, my thoughts are elevated.  Speaking of dialogue, the savior counseled us to "pray always that you may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man.”  Luke 21:36  How do we 'pray always'?  Often, especially when I am engaged in mindless tasks, I shape my thoughts as a dialogue with Heavenly Father.  I tell him about the tasks before me;  and what I am hoping to accomplish; how I am planning to do it; then ask for his guidance.  I frequently ask for help in finding solutions or strategies, desiring to learn His way.  I add the request in my frequent prayers that he will help me to know what he would have me say and do today.  I try to still my thoughts at times to feel for his promptings, insights, flashes of understanding and inspiration.  I also formed a habit when I was 12 or 13 of looking for beauty as I go through my day and silently or vocally thanking God for providing it in my world.  I add thanks for numerous blessings I enjoy- huge ones that come from living as a family- and less significant ones, such as the pleasantness of a warm shower on a wintry day.  When I am in dialogue with my Father in Heaven or feeling gratitude or enjoying the beauty around me, my thoughts are elevated and I feel serenity.

Noble Thoughts

"He is never alone who is accompanied by noble thoughts," wrote John Fletcher, a playwright who was a contemporary of Shakespeare.  500 years or so later, I have found that is still true.   Thoughts are powerful.  To me, noble thoughts are those that lift us above that which is carnal, evil or simply mundane.  Noble thoughts bring us closer to God because they are closer to his thoughts.   Isaiah recorded that the Lord thinks on a higher plane than we do, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways  higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:8    Our limited mortal perspective does not allow us to always think and see as God does but I have found when fill my mind with noble thoughts, I become more sensitive to the spirit of the Lord.   That spirit fills my mind with peace, perspective and power to rise above the stress and strains of mortality.   Although all may not be well around me, all is well within when it's "just you and me, Lord."   Periods of being 'alone' become precious time to commune with and be strengthened by a wise and loving Heavenly Father.